Promise in the Dark
by MyWonderLand209
Summary: AU. Songfic. 'I didn't expect the first thing I saw once entering, to be the reason I closed myself off to the outside world...' Past Kogan. Hint of Logan/?. First oneshot, songfic and entry to this forum. Yay!


**Okay, this is the first one shot I've posted for anything. So I hope it doesn't like super suck or something.**

**Anyway this is the first thing I've posted on this section. I've been going through a Big Time Rush obsession lately and I've finally decided to give a try to writing something for it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. And just because this is slash, it doesn't mean I think that any of the actors who play the roles are gay. If they are good for them, if they arn't still good for them and every other girl who wants to jump them. ;)**

**Song fic : Keri Hilson's 'Promise in the Dark'**

**Hope you like!**

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><p>Promise in the Dark<p>

When my best friend burst through the door of my apartment, marched into my room, emerged with clothes, pulled me off the coach, pushed me towards my bathroom, all while telling me how I needed t o stop sulking in the dark, and to get ready because we were going to the new karaoke bar that opened on 16th; I didn't expect the first thing I saw once entering, to be the reason I closed myself off to the outside world for the last three weeks.

There sitting on a barstool alone, taking small sips of some type of fruity drink, and watching some blond bimbo slurring a Carrie Underwood song into a microphone while drunk men cheered loudly when her bust pretty much, almost popped out of her tight, white shirt.

Yea, long thought I know, but I'd like to hear what you'd be thinking after seeing your ex, whom your still not over, the first night you go out to try and forget about them.

Okay, so I ramble when I'm nervous. Sue me. I really can't help it though. It just happens whenever I see him. Yea, I said **him**, and before you jump to conclusions, I'm not gay, I'm bi. And there totally is a difference.

We use to playfully argue about it all the time. He would always tease me about how I just don't want to admit I'm gay. It would lead to me tackling him down, tickling his sides. Watching his chocolate brown eyes brighten, and enjoying the sound of his melodious laugh erupting from his dimpled smile, while his snow pale cheeks would dust with pink. Afterwards we would just cuddle together. I would run my fingers through his soft, dark colored hair, while he would hum happily and show that perfect crooked smile.

Yea…definitely not over him.

"Kendall." I turn to my best friend, James. His looks concerned, and the way he watches my movements closely tell me he probably noticed **him** too. His whole body is tense and his fingers are twitching, ready to grab me if I try to do something stupid.

"I'm okay." Liar

"Are you sure?"

No "Yea."

"Do you want to leave?"

Yes "No, I'm okay. Besides we came here to have fun and laugh at all the bums trying to sing, and thinking about auditioning for American Idol. I'm not ruining that."

James nods but still doesn't look convinced. He's probably going to be keeping a good eye on me tonight…great.

We sit in a booth on the opposite side of **him**. "I'm going to go get us some beer. Stay here." I nod and James walks to other bar that's closer to our side of the room, then the one **he's** sitting at.

I watch **him** call the bartender over, asking him something. I can't believe he didn't even notice me, when all I can see is him. He can't be over **us** so quickly…can he? Before I even notice, I'm moving. And before I can register why, I'm behind him and tapping his shoulder.

He's smiling when he turns, but when he sees me, the shine measure dropped way low.

"Logan." The smile's completely gone.

"Kendall, what are you doing here?"

I snort. "What? No, 'Hello Kendall, it's been a while. How are you?'"

He rolls his eyes and turns his back to me. "I'm not in the mood to deal with you or your sarcastic ass."

"Heh, too bad. We both miss you." I look at him seriously. "Especially me."

He glances back at me, and I'm able to catch a tinge of sadness in his eyes before he looks down to the ground. He sighs. "Kendall…"

"Just tell me why Logan. I thought we were happy together. Everything seemed perfect, at least for me it did."

"If that's what you thought, then you weren't paying attention."

"Logan Mitchell." Someone calls his name on stage, and he's walking away before I can even ask him what he means.

A few people clap politely, when he hits center stage. He whispers something into the DJ's ear, the DJ smiling and nodding at him.

Music starts to play and I hear him whisper the word listen before beginning to sing.

_Can't count on you most of all_

_When I really need it…_

_It's the simple things that you do,_

_Really hurt my feelings_

He grabs the microphone and takes if off the stand.

_The more I try, the more I'm starting_

_To see it_

_This can't work anymore,_

_Then you believe it._

He looks straight at me, and I feel a shiver go down my spine form his intense stare.

_Goodbye may come as a shock_

_Even though I love you a lot_

_I've given every breath I've got_

_Sometimes you gotta break down_

_And breathe_

Some of the more sober people listening start to clap to the beat of the music.

_Add how many times I gave my _

_Heart…_

_To how many times we fell apart..._

_And it equals...And it equals _

_A promise in the dark _

_So don't promise me_

A few background singers echo a few of the lyrics, but none of them can match the emotion he's singing with.

_And how many times I gave you me_

_Divided by so many memories_

_And it equals…and it equals_

_A promise in the dark_

_So don't promise me_

He stares me right in the eyes

_Listen_

And I can't look away.

_I just don't know what the problem is,_

_What the deal is_

_Was I there too much, did I move too fast? _

_I couldn't see it?_

_All these promises are probably how you deal_

_With it_

_I'm tired of hearing you say you're innocent_

The way he's moving, the emotion he's showing. It was like he was born to perform. And didn't even know he could sing.

_Don't think I forgot_

_Because I really didn't, who cares if _

_You're lying or not_

_I given every breathe I've got _

_Sometimes you gotta break down _

_And breathe_

_Add how many times I gave my_

_Heart…_

_To how many times we fell apart_

_And it equals…and it equals_

_A promise in the dark _

_So don't promise me_

_l_

_And how many times I gave you me_

_Divided by so many memories_

_And it equals…and it equals_

_A promise in the dark_

_So don't promise me_

_l_

_We all make mistakes_

_Sometimes we do desperate things_

_What does it prove? NOTHING_

_And you never do nothing wrong_

_Then what took you so long…took you so long_

_Cuz I keep, keep hanging on…keep, keep hanging on_

_Whoa~_

Some people stand up, clapping loudly and whistling. And by now everyone in the entire bar is paying attention to him. Me…I haven't broken eye contact, a fire I've never seen before burning deep in his dark brown eyes.

_Add how many times I gave my_

_Heart…_

_To how many times we fell apart_

_And it equals…and it equals_

_A promise in the dark_

_So don't promise me_

_l_

_And how many times I gave you me_

_Divided by so many memories_

_And it equals…and it equals_

_A promise in the dark_

_So don't promise me_

_l_

_So don't promise me~_

The whole building erupts with applause. Logan smiles his trademark crooked smile, and bows politely to his adoring audience. Then without a second glance my way, he turns and walks off stage.

I get up, maneuvering around the people beginning to settle down. I need to talk to Logan. I need to know what he meant by all this, by what he said before he went on. This can't be over, it just can't be.

I freeze in my spot, when I finally reach backstage. I see two guys standing there. One of them is Logan. The other guy helping Logan put his coat on, is a mystery to me. He's short, dark hair and tan skin, obviously Latino. They're both smiling and laughing, eyes shining with happiness and, even though it kills me to admit this, something that looks close to love.

Logan doesn't notice me as he walks away with him. Their hands clasped tightly together, talking, cheeks dusted pink from being so close. They walk to the exits of the building…walking away from me.

I feel a hand grasp my shoulder, and turn around to see James. His eyes show sympathy, and at that point I know it's over. Logan's moved on, and no promise I could ever make, would have him turning around again.

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><p><strong>Well there it is.<strong>

**Tell me what you thought. Was it good? Was it Bad?**

**Should I keep writing for his forum, or do I just go back to reading from the amazing writers that are currently known here.**

**Tell me your thoughts, I love critizism.**

**So review and all that stuff...**

**And thanks for visiting MyWonderLand, bye.**


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